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Flatiron Bluff , Buffalo National River
Hike to Flatiron Bluff above the Buffalo National River at confluence with the Little Buffalo5/19/18
Ever eat a pine tree? Many parts are edible. On
this day I was determined to eat myself a pine tree. In reality
breakfast was taken at Denny’s instead. From there it was onward past
Jasper to my entry point on the border of the Buffalo
National River territory. It was, as is usual for me, dark as I made my way
to the east. It was 5:10 a.m. with clear skies and 65°. Just
dawn my goal was before me. Actual sunrise was still a ways off. Flatiron
Bluff is formed by a wedge shaped ridge that terminates at the
conjoining of the main Buffalo and the Little Buffalo. The view was
lovely. There were many birds occupying the area. I allowed them to stay. Down the river,
canoeists were camped on a gravel bar. I could hear the couple arguing
about something. I pulled out the skunk bazooka and fired a couple of my
best skunks their way. They both hit the tent squarely and sent the
pair scrambling. Poor bastards. It was then that they realized just how petty their behavior was. They made up and went into the tent for some sex action.
A little after sunrise a suitable way down the bluff was secured and within minutes the river bank was before me. Unfortunately, two other groups camping on gravel bars were also discovered. A silent skunk ground torpedo was sent in each of their directions. I then headed upstream where no other gravel deposits suitable to hiking on were found. This forced me to walk up in the woods where the weeds were sometimes chest high. An occasional woodland creature attacked my legs down low where the mixed grasses hindered my view. Each was kicked skyward and left hanging from tree limbs...some hit the water with a fine slapping sound. After a time of not much worth looking at, I turned back up the slope. A flattened ridge was dwelled upon for a while before returning whence I came. At 10:50 with 78°, the hike ended. My mileage was 3.4 of those.
