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Hurricane Creek Wilderness AreaOvernight backpack with bluff action in the Hurricane Creek Wilderness Area
2/14/19
"So many manly forests...so little manly time" said Susie to her mother. Her mother just shook her head, for she knew Susie was no man...but a child with great aspirations for exploration. I know not what became of little Susie, but I share her sentiments. "I am but a man...I must explore, dammit!" exclaimed young Patrick to his mother at the age of eight. His mother just shook her head, for she knew Patrick was no man. You see the parallel. Anyway, on Thursday afternoon I did explore, and I did so with great gusto and implied manliness. The forest of the wilderness of the mountains was entered at 3:20 p.m. with cloudy skies and 58°. Within minutes my bluff was before me and camp was erected. Time was short, for the sun would be gone soon. My time was utilized wisely and much was accomplished before darkness was upon me. Preparations must be complete, for the night creatures shall not tarry in their quest for my loins.
Dinner was but a sandwich...hearty though, it was...especially when accompanied with the corn chips of the large, dip sized variety. Also, was a hard boiled egg cook to perfection, included with my evening menu items. With little to do and no fire to gaze upon...retreat to the comfort of my expensive tent came early. The moon was waxing large beyond half of its full potential. The light emanating from the surface provide much light to see with...for the night creatures, that is...to see me. Howls of a super pack of wild coyotes echoed up from the depths of the valley below. Ah yes...this was no average pack, as one sees in suburban locales across the country. This mongrel horde was at least fifty strong...and they were coming for me. Luckily, my five pack of skunks was with me on this outing. Each was strategically posted about the camp perimeter with nozzles aimed outward. As the canine squad advanced, each malodorous guard's anus began defensive maneuvers. The coyotes, surprised by the overwhelming onslaught, ran away like little girls...some like little boys, but most were similar to little girls. My skunk patrol was then relieved of duty and set free to wander the wilderness and pillage at will. They had served me well. Their freedom was hard fought. The night wind carried away all remaining smells and my slumber continued without malice.
At 4:15 my bed linens were cast aside. I stepped outside of the tent to relieve myself and gauge the weather situation. The clear skies were once again clouded. The temp was 35°. Winds moaned on the ridges above. My expensive gear was packed with great care. The site was scanned for missed items...none seen. Up the slope, now...was my direction. After 4700 feet of ascent, the road was in sight and my OTU before me. Clothes were changed and I was on my way. I apologize to the two deer that were bumped into the ditch along the dirt forest road. Fifty-five mph may have been to high a rate of speed for the area. I trust they are okay...it was just a bump. By 7:15 Dewayne's in Dover served me a manly breakfast. This particular breakfast is also available to women and young girls...should they have the appetite required for ingestion. Some do...I am sure of it. Should you like to try this meal for yourself, it is listed as "Dewayne's Manly Lumberjack Style Breakfast" on the menu. Do not confuse it with the "Petite Womanly Breakfast" listed just below this. After belly hollow was at capacity, I exited said cafe without paying...as is my custom. Next stop was home. It was good to be back where peril is nonexistent.
