Three man overnight backpack on the Ozark Plateau of manliness, with bluff action
11/7/20
Three men entered...only one returned to tell the story. I was the lone survivor in this tale of bluff action gone wrong. Join me as I disclose the sequence of events that transpired on this outing from hell. The day started in Russellville at the old South Restaurant. We each partook of large, manly breakfasts there. Coffee was also had in jumbo quantities. Susie the wait person was the picture of service excellence. She was well compensated for her participation in the fine dining experience we will never forget... especially since it was his last. We left with with a feeling of satiety. We laughed heartily at the throngs of peons waiting to be seated inside as we shoved our way out the door. "Step aside" we proclaimed as resistance was encountered. Many women and children were knocked down as we exited. We apologize for this, but not really. Northward then, we did go. We met my son Tristan and proceeded to the place of the parking.
At approximately 10:00 o'clock with 65° and mostly sunny skies, we entered the shrubbery. Little did we know what peril lay ahead. Our path was difficult but beautiful to behold. The fall leaves appeared to be at full climax as the low solar light backlit their asses. After what must have been 13 to 14 miles...possibly 16...we arrived at the chosen destination. It was here that we set up camp...and there was much rejoicing. Assorted tasks and activities were carried out with the occasional woodland creature challenging us and then being tossed aside as each was easily defeated. The day was warm and breezy...above some clouds passed over from south to north. The sun fell from the sky around 5:15 as dinner foods and beverages were consumed in a manly fashion. A solitary bat pursued unseen insects above while katydids and crickets provided a soft background ambience. One owl did come forth with a greeting...but it was sadly, brief. A fine fire was skillfully brought forth with the superior bushcraft skills that we have trained for years to perfect. It lasted till just after 9:00. At this moment, we simultaneously retired to our respective sleeping quarters. I slept in the open on the edge of a precipice, testing my ability to not roll off into the valley into the night. On two occasions, a congregation of coyotes rallied with a group call into the darkness. The night was mostly cloudy and dawn reveal very low clouds that progressed to valley fog.
We packed up and headed up the slope. This was the first weekend of hunting...children with guns only...but we encountered none of these. The forest was filled with deadly mist. I exited the wood's edge first and looked back to see the absence of the remainder of my party. I feared that the had been lost...possibly perished. Worst was the thought that the killer wild dog pack had taken them down. Just then they appeared...unscathed. We feared that it might rain on the way out, but it held off. We drove away with thoughts of home. Two to three squirrels were squished along the way...and there was much rejoicing.
